Hey guys! I know I haven't posted anything in SUCH a long time but I'm back! Hopefully this time I'll be posting more often lol. Okay so, yesterday I went to see someone who invited me over to INTI International University (INTI IU) Nilai. I've been there once and I looove it. I'm taking Business! Surprising, I KNOW. But yeah.
Anyway! I need suggestions on what to bring, because I'll be staying in a campus. I never stayed in a hostel before so it's kind of a big leap for me. Anything I need to know about uni life and such, either drop a comment down below or send me your suggestions thru my ask.fm!
OH and please do not attempt to scare me with scary stories on living the dorm life. I do not know if I'll be getting a nice roommate or not, I think I asked for a single room but I don't know how that would look like lol SINCE I DID mention something about not having any experience in staying in a hostel. The reason why we decided to put me in the hostel is...I do not have my license yet.
I was actually in the process of taking my license around January with my best friend but then I had to move...so Sab took it on her own and I came back like a month ago so I'm doing it now. I was supposed to have driving lessons on 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 29th and 30th August but since I have to be in the hostel before 22nd (class starts on that date) I now have to re-schedule it all. SO YEAH, having no license means I can't be driving back and forth from home to university. My brother has class of his own, mom drives her car, stepdad drives his own car etc etc so I do not have anyone to drive me to uni everyday.
I'm clueless on what else to talk about. I'm both excited and a little scared to be staying away from home. Don't forget to give me ideas on what to bring and suggest me stuff that students usually stock up on for food. I know instant noodles is a must, and no I will not be stocking up on that because my mom says too much is unhealthy. SAD. Thanks for reading guys! Have a great day and also, good luck for anyone who is also taking the August intake this year. :)
Tuesday, 16 August 2016
Monday, 15 February 2016
To the hearts that are hurting.
Hi. Maybe in life, we make choices. But sometimes choices make us. I never really understood that phrase, but maybe as I'm growing up, I'm beginning to understand. I'm still learning. I'm just nothing but an 18 year old trying to figure out how life works. But here I am...drinking hot tea to calm me down at 5am in the morning, writing this for all of you who are reading.
A month reaching two ago, I intended to write about how happy I was to finally end my SPM examination, to be going out more with my best friend and just forget about the world for brief moments...but here I am- writing about how I'm spending my days locked in my room crying, sleeping, eating. Playing stupid games, listening to music and watching movies online just to fill my thoughts. Basically, I am pathetically living my life unhealthily. But I still go out for jogs, trust me. But I thought on this post I'd write something that is totally NOT about me, so here's for you, if you're hurting too.
I know you wish you hadn't let him go. I know you regret every second you spent not talking to him when you could've, and I also know you regret the moments when you were being a little too egotistical towards him. But you just couldn't help yourself, because that's just the way you are. He was probably too good for you anyway, and maybe he deserved better, different. Someone more mature, someone more understanding. Perhaps all he needed was someone who wasn't constantly tearing apart and crumbling inside, and you just couldn't be that person. But apart from all that, you still loved him. You knew he loved you too. But then it hit you that the more you dipped your feet into this nasty puddle of mud called "love", the more it actually taught you that just because we love someone, it doesn't mean we have to be with them. Love isn't about possession, it's about appreciation. If you love a flower, you don't pick it up, or else it will wilt and die. So just let it grow into something more beautiful. Flowers die anyway, but if you let it be, you'll get to watch it bloom. I know you didn't want your bitterness to take away his sweetness. I know you probably didn't want him to pour all his love to you and leaving none for himself. You loved him. You loved every hour you spent with him. You were maybe constantly arguing thru texts with him, but we both know later on you'd find yourself calling him late at night to apologise and recite your undying love for him. It was fun while it lasted, and maybe you'd both love again some time in the future. But you know...love requires more than just time and attention. It requires loyalty, honesty, agreement, effort, tears, strength...and so much more. I believe that God has better plans for all of us in the future. Hurting now doesn't mean we'll be hurting forever. We will win some, but we will also lose some.
And I know your heart is hurting, aching, it's lonely and it's dying. Even if it's not, you should know that life does go on. Slowly, but surely. You just need to give yourself time. Be on your own, read novels to help give your mind a place to escape to. You'll sink in deep with the words and their meanings. Don't rush things, take it slow. Break-ups will happen in life, but if certain things are meant to be, then they will be. I'm not saying all this to make you feel like you're giving yourself false hope or anything but truth is, the choice is in your own hands. It's not in mine, or his, or hers, or theirs...or anyone else's. You get to choose whether you want to go, whether you want to stay...to give or to take, to hurt or to be hurt. I only wish for you to never give up on yourself. Just because he or she did, it doesn't mean you've got to bring yourself down too. Take time to feel okay again, don't worry...you will. Sooner or later, eventually you will.
A month reaching two ago, I intended to write about how happy I was to finally end my SPM examination, to be going out more with my best friend and just forget about the world for brief moments...but here I am- writing about how I'm spending my days locked in my room crying, sleeping, eating. Playing stupid games, listening to music and watching movies online just to fill my thoughts. Basically, I am pathetically living my life unhealthily. But I still go out for jogs, trust me. But I thought on this post I'd write something that is totally NOT about me, so here's for you, if you're hurting too.
I know you wish you hadn't let him go. I know you regret every second you spent not talking to him when you could've, and I also know you regret the moments when you were being a little too egotistical towards him. But you just couldn't help yourself, because that's just the way you are. He was probably too good for you anyway, and maybe he deserved better, different. Someone more mature, someone more understanding. Perhaps all he needed was someone who wasn't constantly tearing apart and crumbling inside, and you just couldn't be that person. But apart from all that, you still loved him. You knew he loved you too. But then it hit you that the more you dipped your feet into this nasty puddle of mud called "love", the more it actually taught you that just because we love someone, it doesn't mean we have to be with them. Love isn't about possession, it's about appreciation. If you love a flower, you don't pick it up, or else it will wilt and die. So just let it grow into something more beautiful. Flowers die anyway, but if you let it be, you'll get to watch it bloom. I know you didn't want your bitterness to take away his sweetness. I know you probably didn't want him to pour all his love to you and leaving none for himself. You loved him. You loved every hour you spent with him. You were maybe constantly arguing thru texts with him, but we both know later on you'd find yourself calling him late at night to apologise and recite your undying love for him. It was fun while it lasted, and maybe you'd both love again some time in the future. But you know...love requires more than just time and attention. It requires loyalty, honesty, agreement, effort, tears, strength...and so much more. I believe that God has better plans for all of us in the future. Hurting now doesn't mean we'll be hurting forever. We will win some, but we will also lose some.
And I know your heart is hurting, aching, it's lonely and it's dying. Even if it's not, you should know that life does go on. Slowly, but surely. You just need to give yourself time. Be on your own, read novels to help give your mind a place to escape to. You'll sink in deep with the words and their meanings. Don't rush things, take it slow. Break-ups will happen in life, but if certain things are meant to be, then they will be. I'm not saying all this to make you feel like you're giving yourself false hope or anything but truth is, the choice is in your own hands. It's not in mine, or his, or hers, or theirs...or anyone else's. You get to choose whether you want to go, whether you want to stay...to give or to take, to hurt or to be hurt. I only wish for you to never give up on yourself. Just because he or she did, it doesn't mean you've got to bring yourself down too. Take time to feel okay again, don't worry...you will. Sooner or later, eventually you will.
Tuesday, 19 January 2016
Life as it is.
Hello and a very good day to those who are reading this now. I know I had been away from blogspot for a long time now, it's because I had so much going on in my head and I didn't really handle things well. I let the hates get to me, get inside my head. I pretty much did decently for my trials examination few months ago and now, SPM has come to an end for me. It has finally come to a complete stop, at least until the results come out.
Honestly, I had written so many posts but they're all in my drafts. Most of them are ugly-written posts about how my life is constantly falling apart. I don't want any of you to read that. But I am sick of pretending to be alright. I am sick of the friends I believed in, who I relied the most on, because in the end they were not there to pick up the phone. I know, it's not like I could speak that time. But for me, I just need to let that certain someone to know that I was hurting pretty badly that I had to call and let them hear my voice crack and the rapid breaths I had to take because my chest was hurting. The only word that comes into my mind now is hurt.
Everyone hurts. Everyone deals with issues. Some people suffer mental illnesses, too. People suffer from break-ups just as much as I'm suffering now. Maybe worse, I don't know. To make things worse, I lost a friend who I looked as my own best friend. Apparently, I was not enough to keep our friendship alive. But it was either me who ditched her for personal reasons or her, betraying me and ditching me for her new friends who she's known for only about 5 months. I guess everything changes, even drastically. But losing people doesn't always mean its a loss, sometimes it could be a gain. Less headache, less negativity, less stupidity and less people to care about. I learned that more than a year ago, but I still find it hard to forget although I have forgiven.
Studies? Boy, delete. I'm currently rotting and dying a slow death at home. I can't work since my mom does not allow me to. But I am helping mom with some of her work stuff, its fun so I don't really mind. I'm also taking my license with my best friend, Sab. My family plans on moving. We currently live in Sunway and my stepdad's at Seri Kembangan. We're moving to either Ampang or Mont Kiara if its actually happening. To be honest, finally. lol. I love Ampang a lot, and I take comfort in tall buildings and city lights. I love driving around at 11pm with my parents since they love taking me for late dinner.
omg this post was stupid and boring lol sorry but I just really dont know what else to share hahaha. i'll try to make a better post next time. thank you for spending your time reading :)
Honestly, I had written so many posts but they're all in my drafts. Most of them are ugly-written posts about how my life is constantly falling apart. I don't want any of you to read that. But I am sick of pretending to be alright. I am sick of the friends I believed in, who I relied the most on, because in the end they were not there to pick up the phone. I know, it's not like I could speak that time. But for me, I just need to let that certain someone to know that I was hurting pretty badly that I had to call and let them hear my voice crack and the rapid breaths I had to take because my chest was hurting. The only word that comes into my mind now is hurt.
Everyone hurts. Everyone deals with issues. Some people suffer mental illnesses, too. People suffer from break-ups just as much as I'm suffering now. Maybe worse, I don't know. To make things worse, I lost a friend who I looked as my own best friend. Apparently, I was not enough to keep our friendship alive. But it was either me who ditched her for personal reasons or her, betraying me and ditching me for her new friends who she's known for only about 5 months. I guess everything changes, even drastically. But losing people doesn't always mean its a loss, sometimes it could be a gain. Less headache, less negativity, less stupidity and less people to care about. I learned that more than a year ago, but I still find it hard to forget although I have forgiven.
Studies? Boy, delete. I'm currently rotting and dying a slow death at home. I can't work since my mom does not allow me to. But I am helping mom with some of her work stuff, its fun so I don't really mind. I'm also taking my license with my best friend, Sab. My family plans on moving. We currently live in Sunway and my stepdad's at Seri Kembangan. We're moving to either Ampang or Mont Kiara if its actually happening. To be honest, finally. lol. I love Ampang a lot, and I take comfort in tall buildings and city lights. I love driving around at 11pm with my parents since they love taking me for late dinner.
omg this post was stupid and boring lol sorry but I just really dont know what else to share hahaha. i'll try to make a better post next time. thank you for spending your time reading :)
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